First dates: the Red Flags you're Missing

Going on a first date is exciting, nerve-wracking, thrilling – a massive mixture of emotions and expectations!

Your Date Demands That They Order For You

I know what you’re thinking; that it’s nice to be taken care of, or perhaps this person is an expert on the best wine to accompany your meal, so they’re just trying to help, right!

But taking away your right to make your own decisions is a sure sign that this story isn’t going to end well. Control can begin in small, subtle ways and manifest as something hugely damaging to your self-esteem and the relationship.

The Person Has No Opinion About Anything

Having a total lack of opinion is an indicator that this person is as dull as dishwater.

They either don’t care enough, aren’t bothered about making an effort to engage in a conversation, or generally dismiss the broader world as something not worth their attention.

A Date Doesn't Get The Need to be Safe

When it comes to first dates, there area few golden rules:

Meet somewhere visible and public
Tell a friend where you’re going, and with who
Organize your own transport home
Don’t get into a car with someone you don’t know

If a guy doesn’t appreciate why you’d be cautious, tries to bully you into doing anything you feel uncomfortable with, or puts you in a position where you feel in danger, they are not worth calling back for a second date. Ever.

The Guy Keeps Trying to Distance Himself From Other Men

Have you ever had a guy say:

But I’m not like those other men!
I’m different from the others.

This distancing indicates that the guy is out of touch with his masculine side (which bodes poorly for your sex life!), or is so fixated on being ‘different’ that he lacks the interpersonal skills to be a valuable part of your social circle.

Your Date is Way Too Needy

Now, we’re not all confident, particularly on a first date. However, someone who always talks about their obligations, things they need from a partner and what they should have done before has low self-esteem.

You’re not dating someone to provide a list of their requirements; it’s a two-way street. Leave this guy in the ‘don’t call back’ list.

They Contradict Themselves

Here’s a classic scenario; a date goes on about how ethical and environmentally conscious they are (a great sign!). But on your date they ask for a disposable straw, or ask for a take out cup – they aren’t living up to what they’ve said.

Someone who acts differently from their words is tough to trust.

Organises a Weird Date

Another example is going on a date to a wine bar with someone who sticks to water the whole evening.

Either they want to get you drunk and impair your judgment, are trying way too hard to impress, or are just an awkward person who hasn’t thought it through.

They Quibble Over the Bill

Anyone who nitpicks over the bill is likely a nightmare to deal with in every area. Redflags that someone is uncompromising as overly meticulous about every detail include:

Itmeiisng the food bill to split it exactly
Not leaving a tip
Arguing with the waiter
Being funny about you paying for the extra coffee you had or the second glass of wine

Thinks Drama With Their Ex is a Good Topic of Conversation

Finally, one of the biggest red flags in dating is somebody who is still hung up on their ex. It’s no way to start a new relationship and is a bad indication of how they might treat you if things don’t go to plan.

Walk away – you want to find love with someone interested in you, not in what went wrong last time!